Leading on Our Terms: Why Women Don’t Need to Change to Lead
You’ve heard it before, “women take care, men take charge.” This tired, old stereotype has been passed down like a family recipe no one likes but keeps making anyway. It's also one of the many reasons girls start doubting their leadership potential long before they ever walk into a boardroom, exam room, or clinic.
But here's the thing, it’s not just about the stereotypes anymore. It’s about how deeply embedded these beliefs are in our systems, our workplaces, and yes even ourselves.
That’s where the real work begins.
What We’ve Learned So Far
If you’ve been following along with the Womentum series, you already know the extent of the gender equity fight across institutions, industries, and around the world. You’ve seen the stats. You’ve felt the frustration. You’ve hopefully had that moment where the fire-in-your-belly turned into action.
Now, it’s time to turn that awareness into leadership.
The Myth of the “Right” Kind of Leader
Let’s bust a myth right here and now, there is no one “right” way to lead.
The stereotype that men are naturally decisive and women are naturally nurturing has created a warped vision of what leadership should look like. But guess what? Women aren’t failing to lead, organizations are failing to recognize leadership when it doesn’t come packaged in a traditionally masculine style.
Women lead collaboratively. They create safe spaces, build trust, and solve hard problems by bringing the right people to the table. That’s not a “soft skill,” it’s a superpower.
Don’t Fix the Women. Fix the System.
The problem isn’t women’s leadership style. The problem is that we keep asking women to change it. To “lean in” or speak louder or “be more assertive,” but not too assertive.
Eagly and Carli said it best: “If one has misdiagnosed a problem, then one is unlikely to prescribe an effective cure.” Trying to fix women instead of fixing the barriers is like giving someone an umbrella in a hurricane.
Let’s stop telling women to change and start asking our systems to evolve.
Authentic Leadership: Not a Buzzword, a Revolution
Authentic leadership isn’t just about “being yourself,” it’s about knowing who you are, what you stand for, and leading from that place. That means your values guide your decisions. That means your leadership is deeply personal and deeply powerful.
Adam Grant puts it this way: “Goals without values are empty.” And I couldn’t agree more. We don’t need more “successful” people who are disconnected from their values. We need people who lead with integrity, curiosity, and courage.
Coaching Over Commanding
One of the most transformational tools in my own leadership journey has been coaching, both receiving and giving it. Coaching creates space. It helps people think. It respects that they are the expert in their own lives and work.
And here’s a radical idea, you don’t have to be someone’s manager to coach them. You can be a coach in a meeting, in a hallway chat, even around your kitchen table.
You just have to be willing to listen, to pause, and to believe that people are capable of greatness if given the space to define it on their own terms.
Lead Where You Are
Leadership isn’t about job titles. It’s about how you show up in your clinic, in your organization, in your community. It’s about how you use your voice and how you invite others to use theirs.
So here’s my challenge to you: Lead. Like. A. Woman.
Embrace collaboration. Own your values. Ditch the mold. Be bold enough to lead from where you are, exactly as you are. Because when we lead like ourselves, we’re not just changing boardrooms we’re changing the story.
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